Thoughts on the highs and lows of entrepreneurship, RV adventures, and embracing a life of abundant happiness. Crafted by Kimberly Crossland, a bestselling author who has championed a freedom-filled lifestyle since before it was trending on Instagram.
Idea Spark: What do I do if someone I love isn’t happy for my success?
On December 29, I found myself in an impromptu conversation with someone I love about the only thing you talk about between Christmas and New Year’s Eve — how the next year will be different.
While going over our 30,000-foot goals (which I didn’t totally solidify, knowing they were still a moving target), the topic of Discovering Something Greater, the book I co-authored with three other women, came up. How would I use this newly minted bestselling author status to my advantage in 2024?
The other person's response was brutal:
“I think writing that book was stupid.”
This person hadn’t read the book, and he didn’t even know what it was about. That’s how little he cared, so those weighted words felt strange. How can you have such a strong opinion when you don’t have context?
Until that moment, I’d made an effort to hide the successes I’d experienced with the book, including its being on the bestseller list. Rather than shout that milestone from the rooftops, I let it slip in subtly to our conversations.
Standing face to face with this person in my kitchen, I could feel the lump in my throat bubbling up. I was, and continue to be, so proud of claiming the title of author because that title required me to show up vulnerably and authentically in print. Print isn’t something you can just erase off the Internet. It’s there, forever in someone’s hands, ready to be judged.
You know how much I value vulnerability and authenticity. I believe today’s world is starved for more reality because we view so much of our world through a glass rectangle.
Having a book that shared parts of my life story felt both vulnerable and empowering.
To have it now being called stupid by someone I love? That’s a pain I hadn’t experienced and didn’t know how to manage.
This concept of having someone you love not support you in the work you love isn’t new. I’ve heard from lots of people who have felt this pain. Have you? Hit reply so I can send you a virtual hug and let you know you’re not alone. You should be proud of yourself for all you’re doing!
After reflecting, I realized something important — the response had nothing to do with me. Zero. Not even a smidge.
His response to my success had everything to do with himself.
Being human often means looking at this world through a filtered lens of selfishness.
Pride gets in the way. Our desires mar our ability to celebrate others, and jealousy makes it hard to compliment someone else’s success.
If you’re feeling the weight of a loved one not supporting your life’s work or something important to you, consider these three things:
Why do I need their validation?
Can I be happy for them when they succeed at something that isn’t my priority?
How can I distance myself from their opinion and avoid being gaslit into thinking my success isn’t valuable?
While it’s not always possible to shield yourself from this type of criticism, it's possible to put up your armor when entering those conversations.
Success breeds hatred.
99% of the time, hatred stems from a person’s own reflections on their life, success, and happiness—not yours.
Still, hearing those words can make you feel like your success is no longer in your control but rather the control of someone else. When you let that negativity in, you steal the joy from all you’ve accomplished. In those moments, it’s hard to hold your head up high and say, “I did this!”
To regain that control and reignite the spark of pride from your successes, ask yourself this:
How can I celebrate someone else’s success when their accomplishment doesn’t align with my goals?
How can I respond to someone who doesn’t share the excitement of my success without letting it dampen my happiness?
Shifting your focus to your reaction often allows you to empathize with the person who offered you less than positive feedback.
And often, shifting your focus to your responses to criticism puts you back in the driver’s seat of how you let other people’s opinions of you affect your success.
I know this is hard, but let’s work on this together, shall we?
To not let a few naysayers with a selfish mindset who don’t get what you’re doing stand in the path of your continued momentum.
To stand in confidence with your successes, even when a few outsiders can’t understand why it’s so meaningful to you.
To not have to overexplain your emotions behind the work and justify everything we put out in the world.
My wish for you today, especially if you’ve been gaslit into thinking your success doesn’t matter, is this:
Continue showing up for the people who are out there waiting for you with open arms. They’re the ones who matter.
You’re doing beautiful things that God designed you to be able to do. Your unique approach makes you a gift to this world. It’s time to stop letting a few criticisms (as harsh as they can feel) stand in the way of you sharing your voice and making an impact on those who need you.
Cheering you on always,
~ Kimberly
Today’s Sponsor: Cruisin’ + Campfires
Camping season is coming, so I thought I’d become my own sponsor. My sister company, Cruisin’ + Campfires, is filled with analog RV trip planners, greeting cards inspired by nature, stickers, and more coming soon! If you’re planning your upcoming travel season, check out what’s in store and stay close for what’s coming soon! I can’t wait to share it with you…