You can only pretend to be the perfect homeschool mom for so long before you again forget to pack your kid’s lunch for co-op and end up shoving Uncrustables into a thermal box while mumbling to yourself, “Thank God for frozen PB&J.”
The plastic-wrapped sandwich is always a dead giveaway for being unprepared. Unkempt. Slightly unraveling.
The meat drawer doesn’t have deli meat (or if it does, it’s a little too slimy to convince me it won’t cause us all to die of the plague). The bread loaf I have is also frozen and squished, making it hard for me to make my own PB&J. And, “What else is there to make for lunch besides sandwiches?!” are the panicky type of thoughts that race through my mind as I have exactly negative five minutes to get us all out the door without forgetting the materials I promised to bring to help teach our kids that week.
My kids have gotten used to Uncrustables. On a recent father-son hunting trip, my oldest outed me, saying I have been feeding them a lot of Uncrustables* lately.
He’s not wrong. I have been taking the easy route when making sandwiches lately.
*This post is not sponsored by Uncrustables, despite what it might sound like at this point.
Isn’t it funny how we choose which areas to sacrifice?
When I sent my kids to school, I was so mindful of their lunches — at least in the beginning of the year. The pita bread was cut into perfect triangles to fit their containers and not get soggy from the meatballs. On holidays, I’d leave notes to complement the food theme. And there was always fruit. Always.
But, having eaten at home for all three meals, I’ve let a few things slide. I know you let a few things slide, too. If you haven’t yet, you probably make a living as a home decor influencer. (Or you’re the kind of monster who has all of your measuring cups and spoons stacked perfectly together in the cabinets. Don’t ask to see my kitchen cabinets).
When I first started homeschooling, I was the mom who packed those same perfect lunches for our backyard picnics while reading our Tuttle Twins books and having deep conversations.
But then, I (re)discovered something else…
…. tacquitos.
There’s something nostalgic about taquitos. I used to eat them often at my cousin’s house growing up. They reminded me of digging in the sandbox, pulling weeds and putting together a special garden, dressing up Barbies, dancing to Amy Grant’s latest album, singing “Ooh baby, baby” at the top of our lungs, and being totally carefree with my almost-siblings (we were close).
Warmed-up taquitos take me back to simpler times when I didn’t worry about how my hair looked or if my dress got dirty.
And isn’t that carefree feeling what homeschooling is all about?
Sometimes I wonder if we have climbed into a pressure cooker by looking sideways at what other moms are doing. We’re in our own life-sized Instapot of self-doubt, self-criticism, and worse yet…perfectionism. We live in a world trying desperately to avoid too much sugar, too many dyes in our food (impossible these days), and too much fluoride in our children’s bodies, that when we find ourselves panicking at the last minute because of an empty lunchbox and nowhere to turn but the freezer to fill it, we spiral.
If you’ve been here a while, you know that I used to be heavily involved in the online coaching world. I loved working with the adults to help them achieve wins in their lives and businesses. I loved writing for adults to help inspire them to keep going, keep putting themselves out there, and keep telling their story. But that world had its own Instapot pressure cooker — the constant judging from other creators and sideways glances at what others were creating.
And I saw that judgment creep into my kid’s public school education, too. They stopped being as curious as they started to become more careful not to get things wrong. They weren’t critical thinkers; they were answering the questions they knew would be on the test. They weren’t being themselves; they were being what their peers told them was “cool” in the moment.
As a mom, it’s up to me to model how wrong that perfectionism is.
And yet, when we started homeschooling, I felt that same lingering pressure to always be “on.” Always perform. Always BE THE EXPERT.
(I still shrink back when reading that phrase).
In homeschooling, there’s a slippery slope to be the same. Always on. Always performing. Always the expert for our kids.
What if we shifted our thinking to the simpler, taquito-filled times?
The times when we knew it wasn’t weak to get things wrong? What if we saw mistakes as a chance to show your kids (and remind yourself) how to problem solve and think through challenges.
Since we get to be in charge of the rhythm of the day, we also get to lean in where things feel fun and embrace the challenge of where things are harder.
We get to both unwind and give ourselves grace when we forget to do something as simple as prep a “proper” lunch.
I will be a homeschool teacher and earn a living where I’m not afraid to make mistakes. I will be a put-together(ish) mom and show up big for my kids. I will sign up to coach PE, sign up to teach, and sign up to show my kids all the many corners of beauty this life has to offer. I will challenge myself in front of my kids to make mistakes, be okay with not having everything perfectly together, and learn from them. I will try to grow a garden and be OK when some of the plants don’t grow as we’d planned. I will try to make sourdough bread and be okay when it turns out a little crustier than we’d like.
I will bake with them.
I will work alongside them.
I will let them into my world and show them the possibilities of showing up big for the people you care about…
… and none of that has to do with being picture-perfect. It has to do with how I react when I realize I have to pull another plastic-wrapped sandwich out of the freezer because I’m learning not to be afraid to show up imperfectly when it means showing up big for the people I love the most.